So one thing I wanted to mention really quickly that I realized I really didn't get into in my last post was my eating disorders. People generally figure that those who are overweight are overweight because they're pigs and eat too much. In my case, that's true because I have a binge eating disorder. Basically what it means is that I overeat a lot even when I'm not hungry and I feel like absolute crap afterward, both physically and emotionally. It was because of this that I also started purging. While that hasn't been as big an issue for me as the binge eating, it's still really unhealthy. But I've been doing way better with it since I started eating more regular meals which I think is awesome. I haven't purged in at least a couple months and when I have the urge to eat, I'm going to shoot to grab something healthy.
I had that issue last night. My best friend and I went out to dinner and had a good sized dinner plus dessert, but after he left, I still wanted to eat something. I honestly was not hungry at all, but I wanted food. So I had some grapes which turned out to be rather sour and pretty much put me off food for the rest of the night. Not exactly what I had in mind, but it worked and I was pleased that I hadn't either gone out and picked something up or rummaged through the house for something unhealthy.
The hardest part with the food is just battling the bad habits I've built up over the years. I'll be driving around and see a Dion's and think, Oooh, a pizza sounds amazing right now! Or I'll pass a Dairy Queen and think of how good a Blizzard sounds. And then I try to rationalize with myself that, oh, I haven't had thus and such in several weeks and now I can't have it so I should get it as a last meal, kind of thing. I've been really struggling with that, but so far I've only had one slip up. More on that in a bit. It's a daily battle, but I'm finding that overall I'm doing pretty well.
