Time to Decide

 Today was a day of decisions.  When I woke up this morning, I felt completely sick to my stomach.  I felt awful.  The reason?  Well, last night after going to a play with a couple friends, I ended up going to a local pizza place and getting dinner and completely overeating.  It wasn't a binge, I was just hungry and tired and wasn't really thinking straight.  Looking at that decision by the light of a new day, I was furious with myself.  Yesterday wasn't one of my better days.  I woke up a bit later than I meant to and then suddenly remembered that I needed to gas up my car, so I shoveled down a leftover waffle with some watermelon and ran out the door.  It was hardly a satisfying breakfast so I picked up a bag of mixed nuts at the gas station.  I WAS proud of the fact that I chose the nuts over all the unhealthy junk food you normally find at gas stations.  I figured the nuts were a bit healthier and they would help keep me from getting too hungry before my lunch.  For lunch I had my leftover fajitas which tasted fantastic and filled me up and helped to energize me a bit too.

But by the time I got off work, I was exhausted.  I was still struggling with getting to sleep at night so I hadn't gotten near the amount of sleep I really needed.  When I got home, I was rushing around trying to get changed, feed my dogs, feed my cats, and generally just get some of the things that needed to get done done before heading to the play.  When I started looking at something to have for dinner, I found that we didn't seem to have a ton of leftovers and I would have to fix something.  I wasn't feeling terribly hungry and since I didn't really have time to fix anything if I didn't want to be late, I decided to skip dinner.  Worst decision ever.  The play was a lot of fun as was getting to chat with my friends afterwards.  It was just after nine when I started heading for home.  I was so tired, but I was also very hungry by this time.  I had no energy to fix anything at home and that's when I thought about the pizza place that wasn't too far away.  So I headed over there and ordered way too much for one person to eat, let alone someone who's trying to eat healthy, and ate it all.  Like I said, I wasn't bingeing, I was just hungry and I really overate.  When I got home, I completely crashed, but my stomach started bothering me during the night and woke me up a few times.

And like I said, this morning I was severely pissed off with myself.  I had been doing so well and then I blew it.  And what really ticked me off was that it had so NOT been worth it.  I couldn't remember what it tasted like, nothing.  I just knew I had eaten a ton of food that I didn't need and I felt like crap.  At that point I had a decision to make.  Generally when something like that has happened to me, I throw my hands up in the air and give up.  So this morning I had to decide if I was going to let one bad day make me give up.  I'm sorry to say that at that point, I wasn't sure.  I was frustrated, I was still tired and I had a long day ahead of me.

Gonna Fly Now

So I planned on posting last night about my first official day of starting to lose weight, but I didn't get home till late and with having to get up early for work the next morning I decided not to, so this might be a little bit of a longer post.  I know my first post was on Sunday, but I actually didn't start until yesterday just because my parents and I already had plans with the family that did not include eating the healthiest of food.  That's not to say that I totally pigged out.  I'm actually really proud of the fact that I think overall I did pretty well.

Yesterday was my first day at my new job which I was really excited about.  I actually got up an hour and a half before I had to leave which means I actually had time for breakfast.  At my last job I never ate breakfast.  I would either wait till lunch or get a burrito from the cafe.  With not knowing what to expect though and wanting to make sure that I didn't start bingeing later on because I was so hungry, I wanted to make sure I started off my day right.  So I had some leftover egg scramble with a bit of guacamole, a single piece of bacon, some watermelon, and a large glass of water.  At work, which I think I'm going to really enjoy, I was standing a lot, something I haven't had to do in almost a year and a half.  I have plantar fasciitis and being on my feet for a long period of time makes it flare up.  Plantar fasciitis is generally described as inflammation of the plantar fascia of the foot which is a band of connective tissue running from the heel to the base of the toes and supports the arch.  So after standing for a few hours, my feet started hurting terribly at which point it was pretty much a matter of just grin and bear it, but it made walking painful and difficult.

I hadn't had time to pack a lunch unfortunately, so I went over to the Dion's nearby and got a Caesar salad.  One of my goals to start easing my way into the weight loss was to stop drinking soda.  It is just so unhealthy and I figured it would make a difference if I started with it.  However, since my stomach was feeling a bit queasy, probably from nerves, I did get a medium sprite because it generally calms down my stomach.  I was a bit frustrated at needing it because I had switched purses and didn't have any kind of medicine whatsoever that might help, but I figured it was a one time thing and it did help my stomach so I was grateful for that.