Gonna Fly Now

So I planned on posting last night about my first official day of starting to lose weight, but I didn't get home till late and with having to get up early for work the next morning I decided not to, so this might be a little bit of a longer post.  I know my first post was on Sunday, but I actually didn't start until yesterday just because my parents and I already had plans with the family that did not include eating the healthiest of food.  That's not to say that I totally pigged out.  I'm actually really proud of the fact that I think overall I did pretty well.

Yesterday was my first day at my new job which I was really excited about.  I actually got up an hour and a half before I had to leave which means I actually had time for breakfast.  At my last job I never ate breakfast.  I would either wait till lunch or get a burrito from the cafe.  With not knowing what to expect though and wanting to make sure that I didn't start bingeing later on because I was so hungry, I wanted to make sure I started off my day right.  So I had some leftover egg scramble with a bit of guacamole, a single piece of bacon, some watermelon, and a large glass of water.  At work, which I think I'm going to really enjoy, I was standing a lot, something I haven't had to do in almost a year and a half.  I have plantar fasciitis and being on my feet for a long period of time makes it flare up.  Plantar fasciitis is generally described as inflammation of the plantar fascia of the foot which is a band of connective tissue running from the heel to the base of the toes and supports the arch.  So after standing for a few hours, my feet started hurting terribly at which point it was pretty much a matter of just grin and bear it, but it made walking painful and difficult.

I hadn't had time to pack a lunch unfortunately, so I went over to the Dion's nearby and got a Caesar salad.  One of my goals to start easing my way into the weight loss was to stop drinking soda.  It is just so unhealthy and I figured it would make a difference if I started with it.  However, since my stomach was feeling a bit queasy, probably from nerves, I did get a medium sprite because it generally calms down my stomach.  I was a bit frustrated at needing it because I had switched purses and didn't have any kind of medicine whatsoever that might help, but I figured it was a one time thing and it did help my stomach so I was grateful for that.

My other goal with exercise was basically just to exercise every day at least a little bit.  Nothing major or really strenuous, but something as simple as a short walk just to get me in the habit of moving and not just sitting around.  I figured that Mondays would probably be my rest day from that because I have a few close friends that I get together with almost every Monday and we generally sit around and either play video games or board games.  However, this time one of my friends had suggested we go out to a park and throw a frisbee around.  So I figured that I would still get some exercise which would be good.  We usually switch between houses each week and whoever is hosting fixes dinner.  So we had spaghetti which tasted amazing as well as bread and salad.  Unfortunately, I was not good about eating in moderation and ended up having two large helpings of pasta plus several pieces of bread.  I love pasta, so it is a huge struggle for me to not eat a ton of it.  Still I definitely worked some it off last night!  We did end up going to the park but since we didn't have any frisbees, we grabbed a couple old hula hoops and tossed, rolled, and swung them around till it got dark.  At that point we took a walk over a pretty little area where you could see the city lights.  It was quite a walk, mostly steeply uphill.  By the time we got to the lookout area I was ready to drop, but I was also pleased with myself that I had made it.  The only bad part was that with all the activity, my feet started acting up again pretty badly.

So this morning I made sure I had time for breakfast again and had a 1/4 cup of steel cut oats with half a banana, some cooked apples and a small spoonful of honey peanut butter.  It was really good, pretty healthy, and quite filling.  Unfortunately I again didn't have time to fix lunch so I got another salad with a large water.  Another one of my goals, to stop eating out so much!  Still, I was pleased with the fact that I was eating healthier than I normally would have.  I did have two starburst and a peep at work which I was not pleased with myself for indulging in because honestly none of those are sweets that I really like.  My biggest struggle again today was being on my feet a lot and the intense pain that caused.  When I got off work, it took a huge amount of willpower for me to get myself ready to go for a walk just because my feet were hurting so badly.  I used a massager I have on them for a few minutes which seemed to help a bit but they were still pretty painful.  Getting outside I was nervous.  The street I live off has a very nice path that was put in within the last year or so and has become a very popular place for people to exercise.  The street itself is reasonably busy as well, so I felt a bit uncomfortable at the prospect of being seen by so many people, most of them very athletic and fit.  I pretty much figured though that I just needed to suck it up and get out there!

Unless I'm with someone, I have to work out either watching something or listening to something.  It helps me focus on something other than my aching, tired body.  I have Spotify on my phone so I figured I would go ahead and listen to it while I walked.  I figured the theme song from Rocky, Gonna Fly Now, would be a good song to start with.  If you have never heard that song, go look it up now because it is just fantastic.  It started playing and Bam! I was ready to go.  I felt like a total boss walking across the street to the trail.  I probably didn't look it, but I didn't particularly care.  That's what music does for me, takes away my anxieties and gives me confidence I didn't have before.  So I figured I would walk up to this one street a ways up from my house.  What I hadn't thought about was that it's pretty much completely uphill to get to that street.  I figured that I would be fine, my mom and I had taken a walk up there a while back and it hadn't been too bad.  What I wasn't thinking about was the fact that 1) my mom and I were walking for pleasure so we weren't going very fast so we could talk and 2) I hadn't been on my feet all day that time and my feet weren't hurting.  I also realized within a few minutes into my walk that I had totally spaced to stretch before starting.  That should tell you how long it's been since I've done any kind of a work out.  I decided to just keep going and that I wouldn't push myself to hard even though I was walking pretty quickly, at least for me.

By the time I reached the one place where the trail went downhill, my feet were screaming and I was feeling tired and severely out of breath.  I was thinking of just stopping there at the bottom and turning around when I realized I could see the stop sign at the street I wanted to get to.  Even though it was another uphill climb to get to it, I was too close to resist making it.  So I pushed myself and made it which I was really excited about.  On the way back to my house, I started feeling better.  Part of it was probably because it was downhill and the other part was that I was starting to get used to the pain in my feet and it wasn't bugging me quite so much.  So I decided when I was almost home I would try jogging a bit.  To be perfectly honest it was more of a shuffle probably, but it was more than I'd done in years.  I could only keep it up for about thirty seconds, but as I got ready to cross the street back into the circle where I live, I decided I would jog the rest of the way home.  Very appropriately as I started to cross the street, the Rocky theme song started up again and that gave me the final push to make it home.  I've pretty much decided that it is now my theme song because it just gives me that push that I need.

When I got back I pretty much just collapsed on the ground and started sobbing.  This was huge for me.  Actually getting out and walking by myself without my parents or my dogs and actually walking to work out and get fit, not just for pleasure, is something I haven't done in years.  And actually trying to jog?  That was beyond huge.  I'm not kidding when I say I haven't run in years.  I'm sure a lot of people won't understand what a big deal this was for me, but it really is a major accomplishment for me because I did it myself.  It wasn't my parents telling me I should really get out and walk or anything else.  It was all me, all my determination, and all my stubbornness.  It really helped to fuel me on to succeed at this, to lose all this weight.  I think these next few weeks are going to be some of the hardest with trying to make it a habit to eat healthier and get out and exercise every day.  I'm hoping that my feet will start getting better as well as I get used to being on my feet more.  After my run, I had a dinner of parmesan encrusted tilapia (not super healthy, but not super bad either), green beans, and half a sweet potato with my parents and watched Chopped on the Food Network. =)

So those were my first two days!  I'm really excited with the progress I've made in just two days.  I know this was a long post because I was wanting to talk about several things.  I'm not sure if I'll post every day or not.  I know I'm going into probably more detail than you really care hear about what I'm eating, but I'm also using this as a good way to keep track of what I am eating.  In my next post I hope to share a little more about the eating plan I'm wanting to start next week and in the future I'll probably share a little more about what led me to where I am today.  Below are a couple of pictures I took today before my run.  They're my "Before" pictures without my usual layers of shapewear and makeup and everything.  Sorry the quality is so bad.  The mirror was dirty and I don't have much experience in taking selfies like that either.  So, in any case, I'm really excited to see what tomorrow brings and to keep making progress!